There is definitely something wrong with my wiring. I have a huge hang up about being somewhere when someone tells me where to be and when. I'm a born rebel. This could be why church is so hard for me.
This past Sunday for the first time in my life I was a "no show". I have a calling as the Relief Society pianist and I didn't call anyone to back me up or forewarn them. As I have never done this before I feel as guilty as all get out.
On the flip side, it was the nicest Sunday we have had in a long time because we just decided to let everything else take a back seat, except for our marriage. We spent all day cuddling and being together which is a prized occasion anymore.
While I know that this is no excuse for not calling someone I will say that I have not been at church a lot and I was quite embarrassed to call, yet again, to ask someone to do my job.
Why is it that I can't just get with it? Why isn't it enough for me to just set the example for my children? These are questions that I almost fear the answer to.
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