Spirituality and schoolwork.

I have a girlfriend who I believe is Baptist. I know for sure that she is Christian through and through. Although we have some differences in what we believe, she is positively one of the most spiritual people I have ever come across. Her name is Marsha and her blog is great! I hope that you will visit it and if you are LDS as I am try to appreciate the fact that this sweet lady is always praising our Heavenly Father and always grateful for the good in her life. Even when times get tough.

Marsha studies the Bible more than anyone I have ever known and I consider her quite a scholar. She also reads many books (not of an LDS type) regarding salvation, scripture study and more. Her commitment is awe inspiring. She makes me think about the amount of study that I do for myself.

If I do in fact believe that we (LDS people) hold the True Church and that we have scriptures that we have been blessed with to accompany the Bible, then why do I not show the same desire and devotion as Marsha. She is always striving to be closer to her Heavenly Father. I wish I could say the same.

What I do know is that while I am teaching my children reading, writing and math, they also need to be getting a spiritual education that sometimes takes a backseat after all that we do for "school" during the day. The spiritual things should come first and even though I know this, I struggle with putting it into action. I suffer from the heart being willing and the weakest flesh.

Thank Heavens for Marsha, her insight, her devotion and her example. I am so glad to have this person that I haven't even met face to face who inspires or impresses me daily. Here is hoping that she rubs off on me and I can put what I have learned from her into action with my own family and my own heart.

Why won't she leave me alone?

This will sound so whiny. Just a warning!

We have lived in our current ward for six months now. We were active for part and inactive for an equal part. The Relief Society President is just driving me crazy. She calls quite often and I know that she means well. She keeps asking if she can visit. She keeps offering help and food for our move despite the fact that I begged her to use the help available for someone who truly needs it. After ignoring her calls for the most part, why does she not get it?

I know that she is a sweet lady and just doing what she thinks is right but I am about to get really blunt about the fact that I want to be left alone and I am not sure how you can say something like that without someone feeling hurt. It really isn't personal, I'm just not interested right now in visits, meals from strangers and men throwing my fragile items into a truck with lightning speed but little care. Not to say that the people aren't wonderful. Boy I'm just digging a hole!

I need a fresh start in a new ward and I know that it sounds like a cop out but I just want to go and have everyone not know that we ever didn't go for two or three months in a row. I don't want to be fussed over. I cannot wait to get out and make a new start for myself. How selfish is that.

Another week of no church.

Seriously, I am stressed about this. I know that those of you who are on a spiritual high or any higher ground than I will think that I should just buck up and do what is right. It's like the heart is somewhat willing (not) and the flesh is really weak. Pathetic.

I don't remember how many weeks of church we have missed and I am so disappointed in myself. I know what is right and wrong and I know what an astoundingly good mother would do in my shoes. Somehow I can't make myself go. What really worries me is that the more weeks we miss, the easier it is to miss the next one.

The week after General Conference I am making it my goal to get to our new ward and make a fresh start. I know better than to think that something will change on a weekend when we have the stress of moving. So, I am trying to set a realistic goal. I also know that I need the encouragement of General Conference to get going. Don't you just get that feeling that all the speakers somehow are speaking right at you and you situation at the moment. I get that during nearly every talk. Here's hoping it takes this time around. We need a change.