Guilt, guilt, guilt. I love the word(s) "NO (thank you)"!

So, nothing new, we are still unpacking. This was my DH's last day off of work to help me so we really had a full agenda. Wouldn't you know that at around lunch time some missionaries from another church showed up at our front door. I don't like people who are mean to any missionaries because I think that basically we are all good somewhere in side.

These men asked if they could share a message with me from the Bible. Here comes the guilt! I told them "Look, we are just moving in and have so much work to do, I am just not interested right now." They actually just said thank you and have a nice day and left. Amazing. So many of them try to keep you talking at the door for some crazy reason.

For those that know me they know that the guilt lasted two seconds and then the relief for having said "no" took hold. What a powerful word. Even in the church, where we are taught to serve and to do it cheerfully, it is okay to know your limits and say "no" when needed. Don't get me wrong, I am all about service. I think that church is where we go to learn to serve and love one another.

I'll give you an example. About five years ago I was in the Relief Society presidency in my ward. I was Education Counselor so it was a pretty fun calling. Christmas came around and one of my friends in the ward asked me to play the piano for the ward Christmas party. Now, I play the piano pretty well. The problem here is that I have health problems that keep me from being able to practice the way one should for a performance. So, years ago I decided that I could not perform. I play for choir, Sacrament Mtg., or other meetings because I don't really have to practice much to make do.

So, I said, "NO". I said it nicely too. Finally my friend got off the phone and I knew she wasn't all too pleased with me. The following Fast Sunday we were bearing our testimonies in Relief Society and I said something in my testimony to the effect that "I would do anything for any of you sisters". After Relief Society this sister came up to me and said "No you wouldn't, you wouldn't even play at the party when I asked". I never feel the need to explain my decisions to people and I'm sure that is part of what frustrated her. In general, in my daily life, I don't like people to know that I have health issues and I certainly don't want to talk about it. I just want live and be happy.

For all of you who have been told "no", try to see where the other person may be coming from or best of all, don't take it personally. After all you asked a question and you know going in that there is a 50% chance that you will get a "no". And boy when you are the one who finds the strength to say "no" to something that is too much for your plate right now, it is the best feeling ever!